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By Shannan Peck
When times are tough and you need a little inspiration for your career or your life, look no further than the incredible alumni that once graced the halls of Ryerson. Take this quiz to determine which Rye alum you should pin on your vision board, both famous and least famous.
What’s your idea of a perfect graduation day?
A. Giving a farewell speech about what Ryerson has failed to do for the past four years and claiming that your promotion will change the world despite it, not because of it.
B Getting to show off your new dear-a-mi-jig thing/[insert gadget here] that you bought with your first paycheck on your first career job.
VS Wear your craziest shoes, even if your feet are going to hurt when the dean lists all your specializations and achievements.
D. Sleep in and receive your diploma in the mail a week later.
E. Pulling a prank so glorious it’s trending on YouTube, Reddit, and even gets an article in Vice.
f. To be honest, just graduating is enough for me.
What is your plan after school?
A. Add the mayor on speed dial (and write an op-ed after they inevitably block your number).
B Set a world record for most job interviews scheduled in 24 hours.
VS Change the world – sure, it’s vague, but you still decide which of the 30 job offers or college acceptance letters you’ll accept.
D. Relax and travel!
E. Disappointing my parents dramatically.
f. …They should add this issue to the Geneva Convention against Torture.
What is your dream job?
A. Something related to social justice. You don’t have to pay well, but it does matter.
B Something in my field that pays well!
VS Something tangible. I want to make a difference but I want it to last a long time.
D. Who dreams of working? I’m going to work, but it’s not my dream, you know?
E. I have a preteen humor and I want to be paid for it.
f. If I can, something in my field. My degree is worth something, right?
What is the name of your most listened to Spotify playlist?
A. I deleted it when they sponsored Joe Rogan. Do you still use it?
B I have a few, but the one I use the most is “Motivational Music”.
VS I don’t know if you can create a podcast playlist…
D. ‘Songs that drive you wild.’
E. ‘420 selections for the esteemed Midnight Wank.’
f. I just listen to the same song over and over for a few months to feel something.
What do you have for breakfast?
A. Almond milk smoothie.
B Toast or dry cereal if I have time.
VS Avocado toast with cashews… and a coffee with at least five shots of espresso.
D. Anything I want, the world can wait for me to eat.
E. Hey, what everyone does…until the weekend where I can make swearword-shaped pancakes in 10 different languages.
f. Are you guys having lunch?
Mainly like: Catherine Crowe: An esteemed “street nurse” and political activist who speaks out against homelessness in Toronto. The homeless population is a population that does not always make the rounds of social justice circles, but it is there and it is proud to support them. You also want this life. Rebellious with a cause, defiant for a cause you believe in, and honestly the idea of a politician banging his head against his desk when you call his office is #goals.
Mostly B’s: Gina Wallace: Gina is doing her best to move on, and so are you. She is once again debating the merits of going to school and is on the verge of becoming a conspiracy theorist on Canadian labor market opportunities. Maybe she can try to get a work visa in Lithuania. You’re both talented and haven’t had the best luck. Take deep breaths, do yoga (if you share this trait with her), and breathe. You will get there.
Mostly C’s: Nasra Agil: Former youth organizer, top of her class and recipient of the Duke of Edinburgh International Award presented by the Governor General of Canada. You have big dreams and even the necessary skills, but you don’t let it go to your head. You have talents and you want to use them to help people. It makes you one of the best types of alumni.
Especially D’s: Fisherman Jasper: Maybe it seems strange that a civil engineering graduate works as a nanny, but honestly, they are quite happy. Did they want a job in the field? Well, back then of course, but not now. They’re happy, they’re exploring the world and honestly babysitting the rich during the day and going clubbing at night is awesome! Even if this whole school thing doesn’t work like it’s been sold to you, that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy – and honestly, it might be better off if you don’t.
Especially Es: Kenny Hotz: There are just as many people who will grunt and cheer when they find out that you and a writer from South Park attended Ryerson, and that’s fine with you. You’re the class clown, the agitator and frankly why spend the first four years of adulthood stressed and serious? Obtained a human rights complaint for making a banner that read “Jesus Sucks” [to roast your soon-to-be married friend] and flying it through Toronto is damn motivating.
Mostly F’s: You: Why you? Well, because you are special! I know, I’m usually not the contributor here who has the right answers, but let’s face it: it’s exhausting living in this world we live in and sometimes you need a pick-me-up. You’ll be fine, and even if you need help, that’s okay. You’ll be an elder, and while things are still tough, there are still plenty of opportunities to get the nap you deserve.